It begins as children. We do things as children to receive the approval of our parents. As we grow older we seek approval from our friends, coworkers, and our partners. We often seek approval from people we don’t even know.
Why? Are we not enough as we are?
Not Enough and Not Good Enough. Those are things MANY of us play with on a daily and ongoing basis.
I’ve been seeking approval for years. I remember as a child being meek because I was afraid people would reject me. I would not get their approval. I hid myself, because I assumed this. Yes, I did not get that approval, but they weren’t rejecting me, they were rejecting the “Not Me” I presented. I was hidden away, because in essence I had rejected myself.
As I grew older, my need for approval grew too. I was still not good enough, so I went on the hunt for evidence that maybe I was, and I looked to others for this approval.
Problem was, I wasn’t getting it. Sure, sometimes I’d hear it. More often than not, what I did wasn’t good enough for other people either. I was on a perpetual journey of looking for my approval outside of myself.
I know I am not alone on this. I have found out over the years that with anything I experienced, I was not alone, even though I thought and felt I was.
My Spirit knew that the approval needed to come from within. My Spirit also knew that the only thing stopping me from going within was this human brain of mine. I needed to “get it” there too. That connection wasn’t coming easy though! My brain had already collected so much information to the contrary, she wasn’t going to be easily convinced!
And then it happened. All of the sudden there was a direct connection between my brain and my Spirit. My brain got it!
As I share this, my hope and intention is that this supports your brain to get it too.
We’ve heard it before. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. I have found this to be true. I have also found that my human-ness is just as important as my Spirit-ness — at least while I’m here having this human experience. I certainly can’t reject this part of my experience. I still have to eat, sleep, and do those things to take care of my Human body.
I’ve decided that when I get something Spiritually, it would probably serve me to get it with my Human-self too. Especially as I find any “blocks” I have are created by my Human-self.
Back to my “Ah-ha” about approval.
One of the things I have realized is that most of us are walking around “wearing” our stories. We communicate through our stories. We filter just about everything through our stories. How we operate in life is generally through our stories. Yes, there are a few who don’t, but really, the majority of us do.
Our stories are how we have chosen to interpret our experiences. How we do everything is based upon those interpretations. How we love, how we judge, how we interact or don’t interact.
When we receive any kind of reaction from someone else, their reaction has been filtered through their story. You could say their reaction is from their story, and not truly from that person.
This is something my Human-self has been grasping for a bit. Then, my beautiful brain took that connection just one step further.
When I am seeking approval from outside of me, I am getting (or not getting) approval from People’s Stories. I’m not “getting or not getting” THEIR approval. I’m “getting or not getting” their Story’s approval!
Their story isn’t them. My story isn’t me.
All this time I’ve been craving approval from something that isn’t even real!
That seems pretty crazy to me now that I think about it!
From this perspective, it only makes sense to me that the best place to seek approval is from myself, and if I’m not giving myself approval, it’s not really me rejecting me. It’s coming from my stories.
So if I’m not rejecting me. Then, I must be approving of me.
All this time I was looking for approval, and I had it all along.
You’ve had your approval all along too.
Amazing. We were looking so hard for something we already had.
Now that you know you already have your approval, what’s next?
It’s going to be so much fun celebrating all our amazing achievements!
