Is anyone there?  I’ve been hiding.

Hiding from perceived prying eyes who may see me in my pain and vulnerability.  I don’t want you to see my tear stained cheeks as I judge myself more harshly than anyone else may.

I was walking away from nearly 10 years of work, and judging myself as a failure.  Sure, I could talk the talk.  “I would be failing my family if I stayed in this.”  That much is true, but that wasn’t enough to make me feel better about “Failing Miserably”.

It was enough to stop the judgement.

So what have I been up to?  It’s almost 6 months later.  There has been a lot that happened.

I got a job.  A really good one too!  I’m a senior executive assistant in a large corporation.  Never thought I’d end up here, but here I am.  I enjoy the people I work for and with.  The work itself is enjoyable.

Working in “Corporate Canada” is better than I remember.  But then again, this past six months has been a lot of learning about Judgement.  Apparently I was pretty good at judging things in a way that didn’t serve me.

I judged working for someone else as bad.  It’s turned out to be pretty good on a lot of levels.  But then again I’m not the same person I was 6 years ago when I left the corporate world.

I judged walking away from my business as bad.  It’s turned out to be pretty eye opening.  It was an opportunity to re-evaluate and return to my highest values.  I was working so hard to “succeed” that I was neglecting other parts of my life.

After six months I’ve made a few more discoveries too.

I miss writing.  A lot.  Not the mind-bending “I have to write something brilliant” writing.  Just writing.  Pouring my thoughts and heart out writing.

I miss the interviews I was doing with Welcome Changes Radio, but I am also clear that now is not the time to reopen that door either.  I don’t honestly know if it will open again or not, and for now I’m okay with that.

I’m still using a lot of the coaching skills where I am.  I like that.

We are always where we are supposed to be.  We will always be in places that require us to share our talents, skills and gifts.  How we share them is not always the way we expect.

I may hide under my blanket from time to time, but that’s OK.  Sometimes we all need that quiet replenishing time.

What about you?  Have you hidden and replenished?  Are you still hiding?  What did you come to understand in those times?  Were you OK with withdrawing?

2012.  A year of change.

I wonder what’s on the horizon for the next 5 months.

Warmly,

Velma

PS ~ Ever played the Tent Game when you were a kid?  Where your room became a fort as you tore the blankets off your bed and used every piece of furniture to create your hideout?  Maybe hiding under the blanket isn’t all that bad.  Not if you use your imagination just a little.